There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
