What did we do last night that was yellow?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
