he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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