: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You can't special order awesome
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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