nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
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There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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