You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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