I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
