He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
