Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
