OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
