I cockslap morals
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
