I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
