it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
