now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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