It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
