Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize