I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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