remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
