just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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