just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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