he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
