You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Randomize
