What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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