White coat. Heels.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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