Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
