I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
