His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
