My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
