We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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