just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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