what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
