i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i will never coherently bang her
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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