Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Non-Jews are for practice
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
