pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
