well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize