is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize