Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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