Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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