maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
