don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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