Umm I'm too high to move.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
