We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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