I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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