Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
