trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
