I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize