her facebook's as public as her vagina
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
