nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Mom said you looked used
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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