His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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