Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
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Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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