I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
