How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
