I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
