Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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