Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
