In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
