What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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