dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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