What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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