ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
