I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
