All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
