i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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