He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
