Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
